


Beaten

by EmmaArthur



Series: Whumptober 2019 [25]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Dialogue-Only, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Friendship, Humor, I'm not good at humor but I did my best, M/M, Text Exchange Fic, Whumptober, self defense lessons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-06 03:07:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21219548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmaArthur/pseuds/EmmaArthur
Summary: It starts when Alex gets with a black eye, and goes from there. Text exchange fic.





	Beaten

**Author's Note:**

> Whumptober day 28: **Beaten**.
> 
> This is an attempt at humor and crack. It's a text exchange, but I've tried to keep the formatting as light at possible so it's easily readable, hopefully even by screen readers.

_Tuesday, _ _2 PM_ _. _ _ Alex _ _ & Michael_

**Alex:** Hey babe

**Alex:** I kinda got beaten

_~image attachment~_

**Alex:** But it's nothing.

**Michael:** Why are you sending me a picture of you with a shiner

**Michael:** Wait what happened

**Michael:** WTF happened???

**Alex:** Don't worry! I was just giving a self defense class and I got punched by accident

**Alex:** I'm fine, I swear

**Michael:** You sure? Then why are you telling me now?

**Alex:** I wanted you to hear it from me

**Alex:** Before Isobel sends it to the new group chat

**Alex:** I barely talked her out of posting it on Instagram

**Michael:** Isobel? Group chat?

**Alex:** She's the one who punched me

**Michael:** Why was she with you?

**Michael:** And why did she punch you???

**Alex:** She's been training with me for weeks. Wants to learn how to protect herself.

**Alex:** We paired up and she beat me

**Michael:** She beat you up???

**Alex:** No, I said beat, not beat up! She got the better of me

**Alex:** She's so proud

**Alex:** I'm proud of her too

**Michael:** I don't get it

**Michael:** She gave you a shiner and you're proud?

**Alex:** She's a good student. She improved really fast.

**Michael:** You've been training my sister and I didn't know?

**Alex:** You don't know everything about my life

**Michael:** I'm supposed to. Isn't that what dating is for?

**Alex:** No.

**Alex:** You're not on the group chat?

**Michael:** What group chat? And don't think I didn't see you changing the subject.

**Alex:** On WhatsApp. Liz set it up last week

**Michael:** Dumb phone, remember? I don't have apps. Or whatever that is

**Alex:** Right

**Alex:** That's it, I'm buying you a smartphone

**Michael:** I don't want one

**Alex:** You need one

**Michael:** I don't have that kind of money

**Alex:** That's why I'm buying it

**Michael:** No! I don't want you to spend that much money on me

**Alex:** I don't have to buy you an iPhone if you're worried. I can find a cheaper phone

**Michael:** Still

**Alex:** Maybe we can all pitch in then

**Alex:** Or better, you can ask Isobel

**Michael:** Isobel?

**Alex:** She just got Noah's life insurance money

**Alex:** She's looking to spend it in self-aggrandizing and satisfying ways

**Michael:** I don't want Noah's money

**Michael:** Also, why do you know that and not me

**Alex:** Because you're not on the group chat

**Michael:** Fuck you.

_Tuesday, 2:15 PM. Group chat._

**Isobel:** New makeup

_~image attachment~_

**Alex:** Isobel!

**Liz:** Is that a black eye?

**Max:** WTF happened?

**Isobel:** @Alex what?

**Isobel:** It's a black eye

**Max:** Michael, are you beating Alex?

**Liz:** Michael is not on here

**Alex:** Max WTF??

**Alex:** Isobel did it

**Kyle:** Do you need me?

**Kyle:** Have you iced it?

**Max:** Isobel why

**Alex:** @Kyle I'm fine, I've got some ice

**Max:** Did he hurt you?

**Isobel:** @Max *eyeroll*

**Isobel:** Self-defense lesson

**Liz:** Alex is giving Isobel self-defense lessons?

**Liz:** Am I the last to know?

**Max:** I didn't know

**Max:** Why didn't I know

**Kyle:** I didn't know either

**Alex:** It's a class I'm giving at the community center, she's not the only student

**Liz:** Ooooh can I come?

**Alex:** Sure

**Max:** I'm not sure that's a good idea

**Liz:** @Max why??

**Max:** What if you get hurt?

**Max:** Alex got hurt

**Alex:** It was an accident. And it's nothing

**Liz:** I'd rather know how to defend myself

**Isobel:** Max are you really being overprotective right now?

**Max:** No?

**Max:** Yes?

**Liz:** Yes you are. It's cute, but don't you dare go too far

**Max:** I won't. But I still think it's not safe for you to go

**Isobel:** Um.

**Max:** What?

**Liz:** Too late

**Max:** What did I do?

**Alex:** I think you just went to far

**Max:** Are you siding with them?

**Max:** Where's bros before hoes

**Kyle:** Back in high school with my bro jock persona. Sorry man.

**Liz:** Call us hoes one more time

**Maria:** I'm late to the party, what happened?

**Isobel:** Oh I didn't know you were in the group

**Liz:** Alex got a shiner

**Maria:** What?

**Isobel:** Look at my work

_~image attachment~_

**Maria:** You did that?

**Alex:** She's getting good

**Maria:** That's my girl

**Liz:** You knew she was taking defense lessons?

**Maria:** Um yes? She's been bragging about them all the time

**Max:** You see Isobel all the time??

**Isobel:** Not all the time

**Isobel:** Just sometimes

**Alex:** Wait, they don't know?

**Liz:** We don't know what?

**Maria:** @Isobel you still haven't told them?

**Max:** TOLD US WHAT???

**Isobel:** Oh, Maria and I have been dating for two weeks

**Liz:** WHAT???

**Liz:** Why didn't I know

**Liz:** Why have you been keeping all these things from us

**Alex:** Um, you were kinda busy

**Isobel:** You've been holed up at Max's since his resurrection

**Isobel:** I never even see you anymore

**Max:** We're not holed up

**Max:** I saw you yesterday

**Isobel:** But you only talk about Liz

**Liz:** Do you really?

**Max:** Maybe??

**Max:** I guess I didn't ask. But you could have told me!

**Liz:** @Maria @Alex you didn't tell me anything!!

**Maria:** You only talk about Max too

**Alex:** I'm not involved in this

**Isobel:** @Alex you kind of are

**Alex:** I didn't do anything

**Liz:** How are you involved?? I want details!

**Max:** I don't

**Kyle:** Me neither

**Maria:** Alex dragged Isobel to my bar

**Liz:** Why?

**Isobel:** He wanted backup

**Isobel:** After Maria and Michael broke up

**Alex:** It was a painful conversation

**Max:** Are you just ignoring us?

**Maria:** Then Alex dragged both of us to his self-defense lessons

**Liz:** Why was I not there?

**Alex:** Max was still dead

**Alex:** I didn't want to intrude

**Liz:** @Alex that's sweet. I forgive you

**Alex:** @Liz I love you

**Max:** Did you just say I love you to my girlfriend?

**Liz:** Max.

**Max:** What?

**Liz:** Alex is my friend. That's why he loves me.

**Alex:** Do I actually need to remind you I'm gay?

**Max:** I thought Michael was gay too

**Isobel:** *facepalm*

**Isobel:** How many times did he bring girls back to his trailer?

**Isobel:** You fucking arrested him for indecent exposure

**Liz:** Beside, none of that matters. This is about Max being jealous

**Max:** I'm not jealous

**Max:** But I love you more

**Liz:** Okay, you're sweet too

**Liz:** But we'll have a talk when I get home

**Maria:** Are you living together officially?

**Liz:** Not officially, but I try not to burden my dad too much

**Liz:** Oh that reminds me, we need to get Rosa in this group

**Liz:** I know she left and you don't all know her well, but I think it would be good

**Liz:** For all of us

**Isobel:** Sure

**Liz:** I wanted your permission first

**Alex:** Fine. I'd love to talk to her more

**Liz:** I'll ask her tonight then

**Maria:** How is she doing? She didn't really keep in contact

**Liz:** She's sorry about that, she says it was too hard to see us all so different and grown. And she's still uncomfortable with the pod squad

**Liz:** She wants to start slow

**Liz:** That's why I think group chat is a good idea

**Maria:** Of course

**Kyle:** I'd love to talk to her

**Max:** Right, I keep forgetting she's your sister too

**Alex:** Aren't we all supposed to be working?

**Max:** I'm not. Day off, I was up all night

**Liz:** I'm free to work more or less whenever

**Maria:** Bar's not open yet

**Isobel:** Things are pretty slow

**Kyle:** I'm on coffee break

**Alex:** So I'm the only one supposed to be working?

**Kyle:** Yeah

**Alex:** Shit

**Alex:** Well thankfully I'm out of here in a week

**Alex:** No one really cares if I'm working

**Isobel:** Keep telling yourself that

_Tuesday 3 PM. Alex & Isobel_

**Isobel:** How's the eye?

**Alex:** Still swelling. My coworkers are giving me odd looks

**Alex:** Thankfully I outrank them so they can't say anything

**Isobel:** I'm really sorry

**Alex:** But proud

**Isobel:** Proud too. But sorry

**Alex:** It was an accident. It's fine.

**Alex:** But you can do something to make it up to me

**Isobel:** Yes what?

**Alex:** Buy Michael a smartphone

**Isobel:** Finally.

**Isobel:** He said yes?

**Alex:** No

**Alex:** But he knows he needs one

**Alex:** I'll take care of the rest

**Isobel:** I'll go to the store when I'm done with this guest list

**Isobel:** You're done at 5, right?

**Alex:** Yes, why?

**Isobel:** I'll pick you up

**Alex:** I have my car

**Isobel:** You have one eye swollen shut. Because of me

**Isobel:** Just shut up and say yes

**Alex:** Do you want me to shut up or to say yes?

**Isobel:** Asshole

**Isobel:** See you at 5

_Tuesday, 4 PM. Alex & Michael._

**Michael:** Do you have ice for your eye

**Michael:** I can bring you some

**Alex:** I'm at work. I look ridiculous enough.

**Alex:** I iced it earlier

**Alex:** But thanks

**Michael:** I could swing by the base

**Alex:** I'm fine

**Michael:** It's basically on the way

**Alex:** The way to what? You work where you live and my place is on the other side of town

**Michael:** Nevermind. Is that an invitation?

**Alex:** Do you want to come to my place after work?

**Michael:** Yes. When will you be home?

**Michael:** Can you drive?

**Michael:** I can pick you up

**Alex:** I can drive just fine. Still got one eye.

**Alex:** But Isobel is picking me up. She insisted.

**Alex:** I think she feels guilty

**Michael:** She should.

**Alex:** It was an accident

**Alex:** I'll be home at 6:30

**Alex:** Love you

**Michael:** Love you too

_Wednesday, 10 AM. Group chat._

**Alex:** Hey, I'm adding Michael

**Michael:** Hey guys

**Michael:** Still figuring this tactile keyboard thing

**Liz:** Hey Mickey

**Liz:** You finally got a proper phone?

**Michael:** I was held hostage until I caved

**Alex:** Isobel bought it

**Alex:** I set it up

**Liz:** I wonder what games Michael will be playing

**Michael:** I don't play games!

**Liz:** We'll see

**Liz:** @Alex how's your eye?

**Alex:** Fine. Swelling's down a bit. I might be able to open it tonight

**Michael:** @Alex you've forgotten the ice pack!

**Alex:** I didn't forget

**Alex:** And you know this is the group chat right?

**Michael:** What do you mean?

**Michael:** I meant to send it to you

**Michael:** This is too complicated

**Alex:** Coming from the genius building a spaceship

**Alex:** It would have melted in my car

**Michael:** You could take a cooler

**Alex:** I'm fine. I'm not going to work with a cooler

**Liz:** Guys, this is entertaining, but you're still in the group chat

**Michael:** Right

**Isobel:** It's cute how caring you are

**Alex:** Right? That's why I love him

**Liz:** Isobel did love mellow you out or something? What happened to intergalactic bitch?

**Isobel:** Noah happened

**Isobel:** Then Maria

**Michael:** Isobel has always been sweet

**Isobel:** @Michael only to you

**Michael:** Oooh that's why everyone else hated you?

**Alex:** Stop making me laugh, I'm getting looks again

**Isobel:** That's what you get for not working

**Alex:** But my eye hurts!

**Isobel:** Really?

**Alex:** Not too much. But it's a good excuse. Or it would be if this wasn't the Air Force

**Alex:** These guys won't let you shirk for anything less than a missing limb

**Alex:** Thankfully I qualify

**Max:** Your humor is weird

**Alex:** Thanks

**Isobel:** Your eye's obviously worse than your leg though

**Isobel:** It messes up your style

**Michael:** I think it makes him look badass

**Isobel:** Nah it's all back and purple and green. Clashes with his eyes

**Alex:** I wore green to go with it

~image attachment~

**Isobel:** That's just your fatigues

**Alex:** Yes it's my uniform

**Alex:** I can't wear anything else on base

**Alex:** I'm thinking of piercing my nose again when I'm out though

**Michael:** I liked the nose ring

**Liz:** Still the group chat guys

**Michael:** I know

**Isobel:** It's not symmetrical

**Isobel:** I need to punch your other eye

**Alex:** I'd rather not, thank you

**Michael:** @Isobel seriously?

**Isobel:** What?

**Alex:** It was an accident

**Michael:** Why do you keep repeating that?

**Alex:** Because it was

**Liz:** @Michael you've missed a bunch of news yesterday

**Michael:** What did I miss?

**Liz:** First, Isobel punched Alex

**Michael:** Obviously I know about that

**Max:** Do you have to?

**Michael:** That wasn't even an allusion. Just a statement of fact.

**Liz:** Isobel and Maria are taking self-defense lessons from Alex

**Michael:** Isobel I know. Maria too?

**Maria:** Yes, it's been fun!

**Michael:** Alex is fun

**Michael:** @Max now that's an allusion

**Max:** Hey, leave me alone!

**Isobel:** Guys, stop ganging up on Max

**Isobel:** He's just clueless

**Liz:** And Isobel and Maria are dating!!

**Michael:** What's new?

**Liz:** You knew too?

**Michael:** We've been on two double dates so far

**Liz:** Why don't you even come to the Crashdown for dates?

**Alex:** We do, just not when you're here

**Alex:** It would be awkward

**Michael:** Yeah we love you Liz, but it would be weird

**Max:** You love Liz too?

**Michael:** Um yes? Who doesn't love Liz?

**Alex:** Not me

**Kyle:** Not me either

**Maria:** Liz is my girl

**Isobel:** That could be argued

**Liz:** @Isobel you wound me

**Isobel:** We just need to hang out more

**Liz:** Triple dates?

**Kyle:** Hey, what about me??

**Liz:** Okay, group hangouts then. At the Pony?

**Maria:** You're welcome there, but I have to work so it's not really all fun for me

**Liz:** On your day off?

**Maria:** Then we'll have to find another bar

**Isobel:** We could hang out at my place

**Max:** Or mine

**Max:** There's enough room

**Liz:** Then that's a date

**Kyle:** No not a date

**Liz:** Fine, whatever

**Liz:** And Rosa wants to come on here. She says she's going to kick all our asses

**Liz:** For how long it took to get our shit together

**Alex:** She's not wrong

**Isobel:** We're getting there though

**Michael:** We are.

**Author's Note:**

> The last three Whumptober fics will be very heavy, so I hope you enjoyed this little bit of lightness. This is a very different format and style from what I'm used to, so please tell me what you think!


End file.
